19 December, 2010

My 'Biggest Loser' challenge

My favorite challenges on Biggest Loser are when they take something away from the contestants that they're used to. It really tests the mettle of the players because they no longer have something they've relied on steadily to lose weight. One example is when they locked up their kitchen and they had to order out for every meal. During BL10, one week they didn't have access to the ranch or their regular trainers. That ended in disaster for most of them.

The reason I like these challenges is because they're applicable to real life. Sometimes, you're traveling, and you don't have access to your usual foods. You have to eat out for most, if not every one of your meals for a brief period. That means you have to really pay attention to what you're ordering. Sometimes, like for me, you can't get to your regular workout spot, and you have to self motivate and find new ways of getting your sweat on.

After this Wednesday, The UCO Wellness Center will be closed from Dec 23 to Jan 2. I won't have access to my beloved workout place, and I will have to do all of my exercise in and around my home. Needless to say, I'm very nervous about what the scale will say come Friday January 8th. I have decided that my game plan is to focus my attention on getting my diet as perfect as possible this week. I will lift weights for the three days I do have the gym, and then do cardio workouts and interval training during the days they're closed. Once I get back to the gym starting next year, I will increase my interval walk around the track from 15 to 30 minutes for the next month.

I've been frustrated that I haven't been pulling THE DOUBLE DIGITS, but deep down, I know I'm not going to start seeing those numbers until I start committing to the Cardio interval training. Lord help me, because there's probably nothing I hate more than walking on a treadmill or around the track. I know I need to change my perspective on those activities. I need to be thankful that I can walk at all. I workout at a place where they train athletes with missing limbs. I'm so blessed I don't have that obstacle in front of me. I'm just fat. I should be grateful for the ability to use both of my legs to propel myself forward. Walking is a blessing, not a burden.

I've got tomorrow's meal planned out. I'm as prepared as I can be for now. Wish me luck.

17 December, 2010

Weigh in Day! Week 3!

I have had a rollercoaster week. I was fairly good on my diet most days, but I was only so-so on my exercising. You know how it is, right? I wasn't expecting double digits this week. I hadn't put in the work to accomplish that. When it gets hard for us to get dressed for the gym, it's time for a boost of motivation! Right now, I'm busy creating a playlist for myself. It has some of the best motivational movie theme songs from the 80s and 90s, mixed with some classic 70s Elton John. What do you do to keep yourself motivated? Comment and let me know.

I have lost 3 POUNDS this week. So far, that is 14 Pounds overall! I'll definitely celebrate over those numbers this holiday season!

As much as I'd like to see those Biggest Loser double digits, I know it won't happen until I commit to the cardio. Right now, I'm still warming into it with 15 minute intervals. In a couple of weeks, I'm going to be doing 30 minutes, and also trying out a new exercise regimen at home because I won't have access to the gym for about a week. The challenge will be exercising at home because I don't really think of the home as a place to workout. It's a place to sit in front of the television or my computer. This will be the last weigh-in until January 7th, so for now, I'm excited. I can't wait to see what I can lose on my own without the help of a gym!

16 December, 2010

Last Night Kinda Stunk

Sorry I've been neglecting my blog. Sometimes life just gets in the way. This past week I have been exercising regularly, and I'm very proud of myself. I've fallen off the wagon a couple times during my diet this week. I realize I've failed to complete the homework I set up for myself in a previous post. I've always been bad with homework.

And now I just remembered that my mother reads this.


Last night I really had to push myself out the door to go to the gym. I think I was feeling a mixture of guilt and discomfort from the three chili dogs I'd eaten last night. Chili dogs which I could have said no to, but didn't. I mean, the first two were bad on their own, with the chili and the cheese and side of potato chips, but that third one was almost the nail in the coffin, so to speak. I seriously did not want to go exercising after that. And when I did go, boy was it a struggle. I did okay on some of the weight lifting, but I really felt like I was dragging the entire time. And my time around the track was just terrible. My measly fifteen minute interval felt like thirty. This past monday, I felt like I was flying through the track. Last night, I was so exhausted, I almost felt like crying afterward. It really goes to show how much food can affect you.


I'm trying to stay positive. This is the first time in a long time that I've exercised regularly for three weeks and tried to stick to a meal plan. I should feel good about just showing up at the gym last night and getting back on the diet wagon as soon as my next meal came. I'm going to fall once in a while, but I have to remember I'm strong enough to pick myself up.

14 December, 2010

Biggest Loser Season 10 Finale Live-blog

13 December, 2010

After The Weigh In

As of last Friday, I weigh 569 pounds. I have lost 4 pounds this week, and 11 pounds since my first post. My goal for this week is 11 pounds.

I'm sorry I've neglected blogging lately. I have no excuses. I guess I'm a little unenthusiastic because I'm not completely sure anybody really reads these things anyway. I shouldn't be seeking anybody's approval but my own, but it would be nice to recieve some feedback. At any rate, the blogging continues.

I'm into my third week now. I think overall, my previous week went well. It has been a long time since I've gone to the gym two weeks in a row on a consistent basis, and when I finish this week, three weeks in a row will be unheard of. I have lost more weight during the holiday season than most people gain. I am happy, but I still feel like I'm either avoiding something obvious or like what I've done isn't that special at all. As usual, I'm downplaying my accomplishments when they should be making me ecstatic.

The description of this blog says that I'm looking for a change in my identity. I don't mean I'm trying to change my name, I'm trying to change how I view myself and how I use this personal view to relate to the world. I want to become the kind of person who is not held back by his own limiting beliefs. I'm tired of being the person who says, "I don't deserve this. I can't do that." These two thoughts are pretty much the basis for everything wrong in my life. I think the most crippling of my mental restraints is overwhelming fear. I am scared all the time. For the past two or three years, I've been scared to leave the house, or get a job. I'm scared of success and the responsibility it brings. I'm frightened that if I lose all the weight I need that I'll gain it back. I'm scared to go to public places like restaurants or movies because I feel like everybody is looking at me. I know kids take pictures of me behind my back. I think fear is the root cause of most of my own self defeating issues.

I feel really alone right now, but I need to press on anyway. I don't have that much time to lose the weight I want. I want to wear a suit to my brother's wedding. In less than six months, no matter what, I'm going to have to decide where my suit comes from. There are two stores. One is King Size Direct, and the other is Casual Male. The nicer suits are at Casual Male. They're also the smaller sizes. I want my suit from Casual Male. I see it in a nice dark blue, or medium grey. It is tailored perfectly. I have the biggest smile on my face as I help my brother out on his wedding day. This is what I want, and I can't  stop until I get it. I will be satisfied with nothing less that complete success.

10 December, 2010

Weigh In Day Week 2 Thoughts Before the Weigh In

To be honest, I'm both worried and excited about today. I don't know what to expect. Hopefully, everything turns out alright and I've actually lost some weight. Last week I set my goal at 12 pounds. I'm fairly certain I have NOT worked out hard enough or stuck to my diet close enough to warrant that kind of weight loss. I set it that high because I knew I could lose at least that much weight if I put in the effort.

Whatever happens, I have to try and focus on the positive. This is the first time in months that I've actually gone regularly to the gym for two weeks in a row. I look forward to the day when I can go to the gym without nagging my parents to take me., but I'm proud of myself for the times when I asked to go even when I felt my parents might be inconvenienced by taking me. It feels good to make myself a priority. I got stronger this week. I am already lifting heavier weights in my resistance training. I at least TRIED to be mindful of my portion sizes and what I ate. I wasn't perfect, but I feel I was a little better than last week. I heard recently that most people GAIN eight pounds during the holiday season, and I've LOST that much just last week! I should be proud of myself for that!

If I don't lose any weight, or even if I gain a little back then I just need to step back and examine what needs to change. Obviously, my diet is still a huge factor in weight loss success. I think this weekend, I'm going to assign myself some homework. I'm going to come up with two weeks worth of meal plans, and shopping lists. Maybe I'll even create a menu of healthy meals that I enjoy eating. I will have them posted by Monday the 13th of December.

I have one more week left, (I think) of gym before the Christmas break. So, next week is crucial. After next week, I won't be able to be weighed in (I think) until the beginning of January.

08 December, 2010

Thank You Mystery Guest! Last Night's Episode! My Workout!

Thanks to the one person who showed up yesterday to my little live blogging experiment. I apologize for not posting your comment. I was still trying to get a handle on the controls. Next week is indeed the finale, and I will try and organize it better so that more people arrive. I think I'll have fewer twitter hashtags as well.

Here are a couple of thoughts I had during last night's episode:

07 December, 2010

Biggest Loser Live Blog!

Join me at my first attempt at live blogging! It's the season finale of Biggest Loser, Season 10! Blogging starts at 7:45 PM CST!

Sorry For Not Blogging Yesterday...

I was away from the computer more often than I usually am. I DID exercise! I don't know if I can lose 12 pounds in one week, but I sure as hell can try. I did some interval jogging in place. I feel like I could have done more, but at least I chose to do something.

Biggest Loser finale tonight! I need to get my gym workout in early so I can watch it without the inevitable guilt trip I get if I don't.

03 December, 2010

Day 5! WEIGH DAY and Week In Review.

I went to the gym earlier than usual today because it closes at 8PM on Fridays. Tomorrow, it's only open until 12PM. I am very surprised at how quickly I'm progressing in my strength training. On Monday, I had to stop twice in the middle of my second set of reps on most of the machines. This time, I only stopped once on one of them!

When I got weighed, I had to decide whether to take it as good or bad news today. As I was standing in front of the special scale that's used to weigh me, I was nervous, and was fully expecting to be breaking the 600 mark. I have never been that large, but I was not feeling optimistic at all.  My personal trainer, Johnny, logged into the computer. I kept telling myself, "The truth is better than ignorance." I was totally freaked out! Finally, Johnny said, "Step up!"

02 December, 2010

Day 4. Another Day of Jack-Squat

I'll be honest, I have no idea why I didn't exercise today. I just didn't. I wasn't in as much pain as I was on Tuesday, I spent most of my time vegetating on the couch while catching up on four hours of Biggest Loser. I slept some of the day, and then watched Psych at night. I was just really unproductive. My head wasn't in the game. I was tempted to lie about it, but what would that help? I just chose the easy way out today. I was happier being lazy right now then focusing and working on accomplishing my goals. I would have felt better if I had done it, but this day is past, and I only can say that I plan on doing better tomorrow.

Maybe I'll get a sense of motivation when I weigh myself. Don't expect any pictures, I can't find my camera, and even if I could, It's not recording to the SD card for some reason.

01 December, 2010

Day 3 Procrastinating, but Still Showed Up

First, thanks to everyone at Facebook and other places for reading my blog. I wasn't expecting so much traffic so soon. I apparently even have a reader in Kazahkstan, which is very cool. Thank you for the support. If you feel somebody could be motivated by reading this blog or joining my fan page, please invite more friends to my Facebook page. Also, if you're on twitter,please do me a favor and follow me @BecomeBoundless.

With the shameless self promotion out of the way, Let me tell you about today. Lately, I haven't been getting much sleep. This could be because I no longer have a bed in my room. I had to get rid of it because 1. The frame and bed spring were broken, and 2. I was fairly sure it was infested with bed bugs. I had been sleeping on the floor for the past couple of months, but now that the bed is gone, it's like I can't get more than three hours sleep. It's very frustrating, and detrimental to my ongoing motivation. I would like to get a full night's rest, wake up early, and head to the gym. Lately, I've been going at night, which isn't bad considering the gym closes at 11 most days, but I feel like getting to the gym at a consistent time will be integral to establishing daily exercise as a habit.

Today, like most days, I could honestly feel myself trying to talk my way out of going to the gym. "I'm tired." "If I go now, the food in my stomach won't be settled." or my favorite excuse, "UGhhhhhhhhh."

I finally got around to it around 8PM. I stayed there until 11. Don't be impressed. A great chunk of that was procrastinating between my weight lifting, and my interval training on the treadmill. However, when I got on the treadmill, I felt really great afterward because I had pushed myself by going a little faster than I normally do. I really felt good about pushing myself. One day, I'll actually be able to keep pace jogging or even running on the treadmill, but I was happy with today's victory.

I think I still have a couple of major obstacles in my way. I need to find some sort of cardio exercise in between my weight lifting days. I also really need to take my diet seriously. I need to plan what I'm going to eat ahead of time. Otherwise, all the work I put into the gym, even if I do it regularly, won't be as effective.

I am very pleased with my workout today. I was able to complete my ab exercises without stopping, I stopped fewer times between sets on my resistance training, and I pushed myself further than I normally do on the treadmill. I feel good.

30 November, 2010

Every Day But Sunday Day 2 Holy Crap So Much Pain

There's a special gift that God gives to people who are attentive to their weight lifting form. If you know how to lift weights, you know that you shouldn't overextend your muscles so you can prevent injuries. You don't bring your elbows past your shoulder line when doing presses, or speed through your reps. You breathe slowly as you exert yourself, and inhale as you bring the weight down to it's resting point. Count slowly in your head "PUSH 1,2,3,4" "RELAX 1,2,3,4". If you're lucky, you're granted the gifts of muscle failure in your last set, and the gift of Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness, otherwise known as DOMS.

When I was riding on the way home, I could already feel my abs twitching. This morning, my triceps and chest were in real pain. I could barely get out of bed this morning, and I felt really stupid because I should be used to the workout by now. I'm basically saying that today, I rested. I really wanted to exercise, but I didn't have a plan for this, so I'm just going to tell you that I didn't do anything today, accept my failure and move on. If I want to stay accountable, I have to write down the times I fall. So long as I don't dwell on them or hide them, I think it will be easier for me to get back up.

Every Day but Sunday Day 1

I announced early this morning on my Facebook group that I would be committing to exercising every day but Sunday. It's a bold statement, and one I'm not entirely confident I can keep. I've never stuck to anything for very long, but I figure with all these people watching me, and hopefully keeping me accountable, it will keep me motivated.

I got off to a slow start today. Lately, I haven't been sleeping very well at all, and spent most of my time in bed during the day trying to sleep off a headache. I had promised myself I'd go to the gym though, and finally ended up going at 9 PM. My workout was remarkable only in how well I executed most of the exercises. I still have trouble with the seated row since I have no idea what group of muscles I'm supposed to be working. Is it my trapezius? My lattimus dorsi? My triceps? I see guys do that machine all sorts of ways, and they really pull with their entire bodies. I'm not sure that's right. What if I'm supposed to keep my core tight and move only my arms up to my chest? More investigation is needed. Overall, my strength training portion goes very well.

I procrastinate for about five minutes before I spot a new treadmill. It has an iPod attachment and a cool video screen and what look like two gaming control handles. I am already in love, even though I know I should avoid the treadmill, I'm just not feeling the track tonight. I have fun moving the speed up and down while I do two minute intervals for 15 minutes. If I had a Nike+ account, it would save the workout info. When I get a job, it will be one of the first things I consider buying.

When I'm done with my workout, I go downstairs to get dressed. Wafting through the air is the smell of my kryptonite. Pizza. I know it's Pizza Hut, and I can smell it coming from the front desk. I pray that they're not offering free pizza for some credit card promotion or something equally stupid. I note to myself that I need to start a food diary as today's diet wasn't ideal either. I started out okay with a berry smoothie made with greek yogurt, orange juice, berries and a banana. Later on, the small bowl of beans was fantastic. I shouldn't have had that hot pocket though. I still eat compulsively.

I'm hoping I can get some good sleep tonight after my workout.

21 June, 2010

A New Beginning

My name is Bobby. As of my last weigh in, I am 580 pounds. I do not have a gym membership. These photos were taken today. I commit to taking photos and measurements of myself weekly. I also commit to writing something in this journal every day concerning my weight loss journey. I may even post a video blog once in a while. My ultimate goal is to lose 330 pounds. Since I currently do not have access to a scale that can measure my weight, I will post my waist measurement.

Currently I am 78 inches, according to that tape measure I have on the floor. It's there so I always have a photo from exactly the same spot.