I really did try after my last post. And for the most part I was successful. I got very ill all of a sudden come Tuesday, and since then, my stomach and sinuses have been working against me.
What is it about being sick that makes you want to eat complete crap? I think that's why some 'bad for you' foods are called 'comfort foods.
Anyway, once Wednesday hit, I spent the Christmas holiday naseous and miserable. It started with chills and I had a temperature spike very briefly. I didn't exercise for the rest of that week, and then, once I wasn't naseous from the stomach flu, I had chest congestion and bad sinus headaches. The gym was closed by then, but this past week, I could have gone if I wanted. I missed yesterday's weigh in. I'm very disappointed in myself.
If you are now, or ever have been morbidly obese like me, then you know that starting out on this weight loss journey after a few weeks of exercising regularly, that the first thing you really enjoy is looking in the mirror and liking who you see. I hadn't realized it before, but I truly have been miserable. I couldn't love myself, but as the year was ending, I caught a glimpse in the full length mirror in my room, and I realized that I was smiling. I liked who I saw in the mirror. He was still fat, but he looked like he had a future. Since I stopped exercising, I'm starting to feel angry and depressed, and I don't want to feel this way ever again. I'm going to get back on the wagon starting today.